Other Side of the Coin April 13, 2009
Posted by Geoffrey Wilson in : Meditations, Philosophy, Psychology , add a comment“Now with training, we can eventually learn to see the other side of the coin,” my guide said.
“We can become aware of our breathing as well as what is happening on the inside. Whatever it is, the breath or sensation, we can learn to observe it without losing our mental balance. And when we stop reacting, we put an end to the vicious cycle that is the multiplication of our misery. In lieu of this, mental obstacles and corruptions merely come and go… and eventually they pass away.”
In effect, my guide was saying that if one watches without judgment, just watches, then sensations of every kind – previously perceived as positive or negative – but now without reference to either positive or negative – then these sensations completely lose their sting. In watching, without judgment, ‘what is’ remains as ‘what is’. Nothing can be done about it. It is as it is.
“The more one practices this sublime technique, the more quickly negativity of all kinds dissolves and vanishes. It takes concentrated effort, but gradually, the mind is liberated from all corruptions and it becomes pure. As such, a pure mind operates as a loving mind. This mind is always filled with love, it is full of selfless love for others, and it is also full of compassion – for the failings and sufferings of others. This mind is therefore full of joy – in the widest possible sense of the word, and ultimately it is benevolent in the face of any challenge or circumstance.”
ANTAGONISMS ARE COMPLEMENTARY March 29, 2009
Posted by Geoffrey Wilson in : Meditations , add a commentANTAGONISMS ARE COMPLEMENTARY – THE DARK KNIGHT
There would be few unfamiliar with the legend of the caped crusader and his impressive array of lethal enemies either licking their lips at the prospect of doing battle with him and making inroads into the heart of Gotham City, or entertaining wild notions of defeating him and thereby assuming the mantle of authority in a struggle to maintain power.
Batman made a name for himself in comic books before shifting to the big screen and enjoyed a tremendous following among both the young and the older. That he has endured over a long passage of time does much to raise the quality of his profile and firmly secure a place in the mythical lore of the hero and the genre. His most outlandish nemesis of course is the Joker – who best typifies the antagonistic but nonetheless complementary nature of their dynamic interplay.
The Joker is the antithesis of Batman. If the caped crusader is the hero, then the Joker is the anti-hero. The two go together – like peas in a pod. In many respects, the Joker is actually the complete opposite of Batman. They are opposites in everything from their appearance to the ideals they espouse with gusto and pride. For example, Batman tends to be a rather large and muscular man, while the Joker is of average height and sinewy. Whereas Batman is averse to killing, the Joker views murder as sport. And as intimidating as he is psychotic, the latter nonetheless still manages to recruit merciless henchmen by the hordes despite his obvious and frighteningly maniacal insanity. Batman works alone with a couple of helpers behind the scenes.
Polar opposition is in fact a trademark of the war waged between the Joker and Batman. Before we get into a discussion of their apparel, suffice it to say that their temperaments are like chalk and cheese. The Joker is ebullient in a typically extroverted way. Batman is more self-contained at least when not in the company of his acquaintances and other social butterflies who are accustomed to his arrogance and distinct flair for the show he puts on as a clever subterfuge – though they don’t know it as such of course!
And so our stealthy nocturnal avenger is at heart a loner. Deeply introspective, he broods and contemplates – the memories of his numerous trials and tribulations weighing heavily on his big broad shoulders – especially the death of his father whose brutal murder he witnesses as an innocent child. Only his surrogate father Alfred, who also happens to be his butler and a man with serious talents of his own, knows the true story behind the caped crusader’s perspective on things. So, it’s hardly surprising that Batman is comfortable in the dark.
In the shadows, Batman is the undisputed king of the jungle, a ninja warrior of sorts who steers the course of the true vigilante, as only a creature of the night and devotee of revenge is competent to do. Indeed, Gotham City becomes reliant upon his prowess, and when the Joker begins to make his meddling and sardonic presence known, the beleaguered public and the officials whose job it is to administer justice, look to their patron saint for help.
Temperaments aside, the villain and the revered servant of the people have other differences worth mentioning that bring them together as much as they set them apart. The use of color in symbolism is one of several. Batman for instance, is a champion of the darkest shades – he uses gray and black to intimidate the criminals he encounters. The Joker relies more heavily on bright colors, such as purple, green, and sometimes orange, to dazzle his foes and yet conceal the hidden depths of his mischief. A case in point is the picture of the demented clown he paints with his lime green hair and ripe red lips. Interestingly, we never get to see the man behind the mask when he is in uniform as much as we are welcomed to view the bleeding mascara of a madman!
This brings us unnervingly to the Joker’s methods therefore, which are both unpredictable and incalculable. He does things according to his own twisted and perverse sense of logic, and does not seem to crave or desire the trappings that money can bring. In other words, his actions lack the necessary thread that conjoins one act to another with any degree of coherency and his motives seem to be without relationship to greed. Nor indeed does he suffer from a fear of the one who wields the proverbial sword of Damocles – in his case, the potential threat posed by the caped crusader.
Batman doesn’t wield the sword of Damocles anyway! In this particular tale from the vault told long ago by Cicero – the Roman orator, Damocles swaps places with the legendary ruler Dionysius II of Syracuse for a day just to get a taste of what it’s like to be in a position of power. There he is in all his glory, with servants beckoning to his every call and need, when out of the blue he looks up to see a sword dangling by a horse’s hair from the ceiling.
The Joker does not suffer from the same fear, which surely must have gripped Damocles as he watched the sword of Dionysius dangle precariously above his head. If he could, he would probably love to be Dionysius. If only to have the power to purge Gotham City of its pretensions through some cleverly conceived display of anarchy or to use any means necessary, to prove that organization and corporate structure is both meaningless and futile.
All things considered, the Joker is an exceptionally devious and cunning operator, and this tends to be his greatest weapon in the fight against Batman, the police, and the District Attorney’s office. He is often confronted by the authorities, but easily evades capture due to a combination of survival instinct, wit, bravado, acumen, and good fortune. While Batman prefers to linger in the shadows, the Joker basks in the spotlight clearly comfortable in the role and adept at manipulating the image he wishes others to see.
Though we may safely infer that he is Batman’s undisputed arch-nemesis, the Joker has always understood his privileged position. In ‘The Dark Knight’, he asks his rival, ‘Why would I kill you? What would I do without you?’ Thus, we know that these two characters are inseparable and mutually dependent on the polarity that their intense interaction provides. Without the Joker’s ruthless ambition, Batman has no outlet for recrimination. And without Batman’s personal crusade, the Joker has no assailant.
True Observation March 11, 2009
Posted by Geoffrey Wilson in : Meditations , add a commentShe looked at the phone, almost as if willing it to ring. But it didn’t. She wanted it to, but it didn’t! At this point, agitation welled up within her, and the thinking of one thought led to another.
In the space of several minutes, what had been the simple observation of a mobile phone turned into hundreds of ideas about the phone. Whereas before her observation of a phone that was not ringing was a ‘fact’, her ideas about the phone were now a ‘non-fact’!
She tried to suppress and control her emotions. Yet this did nothing to assuage the conflict. Her feelings of hate, jealousy, anxiety, fear and insecurity remained. Upon reflection, it is indeed remarkable to consider just how strong the emotions are, and that their expression accurately represents the inglorious passion of suffering. Is one aware of this phenomenon on a level that can be understood? And, are the attachments that one may have to both people and things, based on these emotions?
The fact is not the idea. It is possible to create an idea about the phone, but the phone is a fact. The phone can be touched and picked up. One can look at it and see the shape of it, the colour of it. Is the attachment to it a concept, an idea, or is it a fact?
When one observes the fact, not the idea, not the conclusion or judgment about the fact, but the fact itself, is the fact different from the one who is observing?
When one observes the fact through an idea, one is not looking at the fact. How does one look at the fact? Is attachment a part of oneself or separate from oneself? The phone is separate from oneself. Yet the attachment to the phone and the emotions arising from having ideas about the phone are part of oneself.
Attachment is ‘me’. If there is no attachment, there is no ‘me’. Awareness of one’s emotions is therefore, part of one’s nature. If one is looking at oneself, there is only attachment, the fact, the feeling, the possessiveness in attachment. This is ‘me’. It is a fact!
What is one to do with this fact then? Previously when there was division between ‘me’ and attachment, one tried to do something about attachment. If attachment is ‘me’, one cannot do anything! All one can do is observe it. One cannot act upon it because it is already ‘me’.
There is only observation. If in the observation one begins to choose, and in choosing makes a judgment, saying “One must not be attached”, one is actually saying that attachment is not ‘me’. True observation means therefore that there is no choice.
The pure observation of a fact without reaching a conclusion or forming an opinion about the fact naturally dissolves it. The energy is totally centred in observation and there is complete dissipation of attachment.
Working through the exercise then, she observes the phone. What does she see? She sees a phone. It is turned off. It has buttons and a screen. Now she has an idea about the phone. What is that idea? She also has strong emotions attached to the idea about the phone. What are those emotions?
The phone is a fact. The observation is clear and pure. Her idea about the phone is a ‘non-fact’. It is not real. Her idea about the phone is that it should ring. Why? She wants the phone to ring because she wants to know that somebody has made her a priority. Somebody having made her a priority gives her a sense of self-worth. She has therefore looked for self-worth outside of herself, from another.
She has strong emotions about her idea of the phone. She has become agitated because of her idea of the phone and this has led her to projecting these emotions into the future. Now she has wild imaginings based on the idea she had of the phone.
The wild imaginings based on the idea she had of the phone and sustained by agitation are the speculations gathered together by her when reaching the conclusion that she is not recognised as a priority in someone’s life.
The phone is something apart from her. But attachment, the emotion, is part of herself. Therefore, awareness of her emotions, her attachments, is part of her structure.
If she looks at herself there is no division; there is no duality as the ‘me’ and attachment. There is only attachment, not the word but the fact, the feeling, the emotion, the possessiveness in attachment. That is a fact. That is ‘me’.
What is she to do with ‘me’? If there is ‘me’ and attachment, she could try to suppress it. But if it is ‘me’, what can she do? She can’t do anything. She can only observe. Before, she acted upon it. Now she can’t because it is HER. All she can do is observe.
Observation becomes all important, not what she does about it.
Cleaning Up The Mess February 24, 2009
Posted by Geoffrey Wilson in : Meditations, Personal Freedom , 1 comment so farFrom a spiritual perspective, when the interval between cause and effect narrows, things are generally easier to manage right across the board. When it widens, trouble is immanent. The interval between cause and effect can be measured by the amount of mess left behind. In other words, when you make a decision about anything in life, you will experience certain consequences as a result of making that decision.
It could have something to do with your next career move, or the step you make towards consolidating your relationship. It might be the decision you make to leave town in search of a new challenging life experience! Regardless, some of the consequences of making decisions are perhaps not always what you may have expected. And indeed, here and there, you are inevitably left with nothing but a huge mess to clean up.
If for whatever reason your decisions are based on emotion, there will be a mess to clean up! Nothing could be more certain. When angry, your Liver energy will be uprooted and in a volatile state, you will make decisions that are unstable. When sentimental, your Heart energy will become scattered and in a frenzy, you will make decisions that are chaotic. When worried, your Spleen energy will become decimated and in depletion, you will make decisions that reflect your neediness. When sad, your Lung energy will become stale and you will make decisions based on what it feels like to drown in an ocean of despair. When fearful, your Kidney energy will be exhausted and you will make decisions based on desperation.
None of these responses is appropriate. They will all lead to the disintegration of your personal energy fields and disempowerment.
If you signed up for the job because it would pay you better than the gig you really had a passion for, you will not be able escape the gnawing feeling that you sold your soul. This feeling will eat away at you until you lose your marbles or you dump your dissatisfaction on the wrong person at the wrong time and wind up paying a high price for your frustration. At the end of the day, the infamous Doctor Faustus thought he could make a deal with Lucifer and paid the ultimate price. You don’t want to end up like him. The moral of the story at any rate is that when you do something without love it will always backfire and you will have to pay the price for it.
Similarly, if you constantly pick up the broken pieces of your daughter’s life and try to fix things for her, she will be the one to miss out in the long run and her growing ineptitude will be the mess you have to clean up. Why? Because you taught her to be like that. If you want to help a youngster you have no choice but to show them what it means to stand on their own two feet, to be loving and compassionate, and to be confident in finding solutions for their own problems – with support and guidance when necessary. A failure to do this will reflect poorly on you. So, do you intend to bring up a child for life? Or did you intend to raise a real human being? If you were brought up to be needy, it is likely you will project this onto your own kids. If you were raised to develop independence, compassion and initiative, you will probably enjoy watching the same qualities flourish in those that follow after you.
We all have our messes. It helps if you know what they are specifically. Be honest and impartial when investigating them. Start with finding out where you stand in relation to your career. What about your personal relationship? Then move onto your family. Are your financial affairs in order? If not why not? It doesn’t mean that you have to be held to a budget’s ransom but you do need to know what comes in and what goes out and if you are serving your purpose. If you’re not healthy, when will you get your act together? Are your friends the kind of people that are suitable associates for your ongoing development? Do you make time for stillness? If not, how are you going to slow down long enough to assess what your requirements are?
As you can see, cleaning up messes is a process. It is a working, moving meditation. It never ends. But it does need to begin sometime. If you are serious about reducing the interval between cause and effect, the time has come for you to answer the big questions. They are not difficult to answer but they do need to be approached. Otherwise, you will get stuck and never seem to get off the roundabout!
Letting Go February 16, 2009
Posted by Geoffrey Wilson in : Health Tips, Meditations , add a commentLetting go is a term we often hear with the frequency of a catchphrase used to convey a sense of something important. It is officially part of our language now and is not restricted to the mumbo jumbo of professionals who might refer to it as if it were a body part.
Letting go is actually a process. It is not a thing. Nor is it an achievement. You don’t become something else when you let go but rather you engage in a process of shedding your proverbial skin. Of course, the skin is on the outside of your body and letting go also pertains to the inside.
We tend to cling to our experiences, both the pleasurable and painful ones, and as such, we also develop memories which are stored in the muscles, in the bones, in the ligaments, in the joints, in the tendons, in the organs, as well as in the mind. Unfortunately, it is the memories, pleasurable or painful, which are then used to deal with the challenges we face in the present – and memories are never equipped to deal with the reality of now!
The past cannot really be used to deal efficiently with the present because ‘now’ is different to ‘then’. They may look the same, but they are different. In fact, the current challenge, the problem that we face right now, comes with a unique set of circumstances. We have never faced this set of circumstances before. We may think we have, but we haven’t. A closer inspection will reveal the truth of this.
Unless we can approach the problem with a clean sheet, as it were, free from the memories of what we did last time to solve the problem, the solution will be in adequate. So all we can do is surrender to the fact that an empty mind, free from the burden of expectation, free from the accumulation of memory, free from the pressure imposed by the past, is relaxed and as such, is free from the constraints of any kind.
According to the principles of Oriental medicine, the Colon channel shares a dynamic relationship with the Lung channel. The Colon takes care of the rubbish while the Lung takes care of nourishment. Our task then is to unravel the mystery surrounding this relationship and expose the pearls of wisdom that lie therein.
Letting go is a process. It means that you will have to make some adjustments to the way you think and behave. Not just on Sundays, but from moment-to-moment. Not just when it suits, but as a lifestyle. Not just because you are in pain, but because living is from moment-to-moment.
The adjustments you will need to make are a blend of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual modifications that regulate lifestyle and the way you think about the world, the people in the world, and the things that are happening in the world.
Physical adjustments are usually such things as exercises designed to enable you to release tension and relax on a deeper level. Tai Chi is renowned for this. So too is Qi Gong. Both share a common set of principles and structure that facilitate release, relaxation, and then lead to softness. The good news is that you don’t need to use your mind. Your mind has to empty before you can relax.
Emotional adjustments are usually such things as forming new habits (more appropriately called responses) that require you to avoid indulging in reactions to situations. For example, rather than buy into someone’s predicament, you listen but don’t jump straight in and try to be the hero (like rescuing someone from their fate).
Avoiding the indulgence is one thing. Not taking things personally is another. It requires much practice to conquer this one and you will need to be very disciplined. This is where hanging out with the right people helps. In the same way a business mentor supervises the new kid on the block, you might benefit from a mentor who can help to keep you on track.
Mental adjustments are probably the trickiest. This requires a brand new way of thinking about life, love, the Universe and so on. The first thing to do is learn to distinguish between facts and fantasy. A fact is the actual – what is actually happening. Fantasy is a non-fact. Fantasy is what you would like something to be. Therefore fantasy is the ideal. Fact and fantasy are polar opposites. One begins when the other ends.
The second thing to do when making mental adjustments, is stick to the facts. Do not waiver. This means you avoid getting caught up in the habit of thinking about wishes, wants, hopes, and dreams. If you stay clear of fantasy, reality is like a balm to a weary soul. With practice, you begin to rest in the arms of reality quite comfortably – not numb, but aware, awake and alive!
Spiritual adjustments are none other than deferring to spirit always. In other words, give the credit to spirit. Drop the ego. Find out if you can discover the truth about humility. If you can, you will uncover a secret that few will have a real opportunity to explore. Letting go is part of the equation.
The Stone Soul February 9, 2009
Posted by Geoffrey Wilson in : Meditations , add a commentFeelings and the Stone Soul
According to Lorie Eve Dechar, ‘Metal is associated with the colour white, the emotion of grief, the season of autumn. It is associated with death, the ending of cycles, the coming and going of life, the rhythms of the breath and the excretory functions.’
The Hun (Ethereal Soul) is to the psyche (the human mind, imagination, dreaming) what the Po is to the soma (the human body, senses, emotions, unconscious physiological responses). Both are melting pots of awareness, with the soma acting as a complement to the psyche – the physical component of consciousness.
Psychologically, the Po is the realm of the ‘body unconscious’ with its storehouse of sensations, emotions, passions, and feelings that represent the neurological intelligence of human beings. In this storehouse are to be found the characteristics of identity, often completely hidden from the eye of conscious awareness, in tissue memory, the muscles, fascia, nerves, and organs of the body.
The Po is stored in the lungs. In other words, this is where the memory of feelings resides. When the lungs are damaged through an inability to let go of resistance to change on any level, the Po suffers a blow. Suppose you have a falling out with your loved one because you perceive that she has rejected you for one reason or another. You react to this by shutting down. You stew on it and cling to it in order to justify your feelings of rejection.
It should come as no surprise then that you begin to develop signs and symptoms linked to the respiratory system. In fact, the origin of all respiratory malfunctions can be traced back to this drama experienced in the house of the Po. The message is clear.
Release.
Let go.
Take a deep breath.
Release.
Let it go.
Take another deep breath.
Breathing is your passport to respiratory harmony. Learn to not cling to people and things and you will enjoy your experience of life more readily. Besides, it’s easy to take a deep breath. All you have to do is trust in your ability to be present.
This is the root of meditation.
On ‘Wu Wei’ February 2, 2009
Posted by Geoffrey Wilson in : Meditations , 1 comment so farThose familiar with the lingo often associate Taoism with the ‘Way’. This alludes to an approach rather than a method and suggests something of flow. Unfortunately, the very moment a foreign concept is introduced many of us are inclined to rigidly define it, hold on to it, adhere to it like glue, and cling to it.
Before too long, we’ve outlived the moment and thereafter we enter the arena of dogma. However, in the same way meditation can help us to see with greater clarity, contemplation of ‘Wu Wei’ in everything we do can mean the difference between doing it easy and doing it tough!
‘Wu Wei’ means non-interference. It is a concept that is central to the practice of Taoism in daily life and implies among other things, letting things run their natural course. Going with the flow therefore has nothing to do with manipulating outcomes. Nor does it have anything to do with going to sleep while waiting for something to fall out of the sky.
‘Wu Wei’ is an approach to living that is alive and sensitive. When you are aware, awake, and responsive to the challenges of the moment, you do things very differently. You are not rushed. You are not cramped for space – if only in your own head! You are not seduced by anyone or anything. Responsible for everything that happens to you because you are awake, you stop complaining about people and the weather.
Non-interference means not getting in the way and not using force to achieve a desired result. Force is your insistence on doing it your way. But force is aggression. And force is also resistance. All of these things contradict and flow counter to the natural course of events. When we use force, we swim against the tide.
So, the question is where are you in all of this?
Song of the Soul January 13, 2009
Posted by Geoffrey Wilson in : Meditations , 2 commentsSome of the best conversations any of us might ever have the good fortune to experience or be privy to, could well take place on the banks of a river in some pristine corner of God’s paradise.
Somewhere nature’s symphony can faintly be heard in the near distance and only punctuated by the sound of earnest voices content with sharing their point of connection to the divine.
Seekers of spiritual understanding congregate in such places.
There the air is clean and pure.
There the light is magnanimous in its distribution.
There the murmur of water flowing along the stream is hypnotically transcendent.
There the mind is utterly attentive and aware.
There the senses are alive in the stillness of budding sanctuary.
In reality, ‘there’ is as much ‘here’ as ‘here’ is ‘there’!
Suddenly, the man dressed in a long beige robe that has seen better days, leans on his walking stick to catch his breath.
He has been traipsing across valleys and hills all morning and his younger companion complies with his need to take a well deserved rest.
Then the older man slumps to the ground and makes himself comfortable as he settles his buttocks on a hard flat rock that serves him on this occasion as a chair.
He begins to chuckle and then casually makes one of those profound comments he is proverbial for coming out with, in the unlikeliest of moments.
‘Desires are always painful stumbling blocks to our spiritual development you know, and nor must we shirk our responsibility to grow!’
His companion is accustomed to the old man’s ways.
So he listens carefully as the rushing water in the bubbling stream cascades.
‘The song of the soul is freedom… the song of the soul is love and compassion for all mankind… the song of the soul is acceptance… of who you really are and what you have really been. In this there is no judgment! And when the battle between ‘this’ and ‘that’ comes to an end, when the conflict of the opposites ceases to be, something truly miraculous happens. In this moment, you discover the mystic reality of emptiness.’
The younger man contemplates the words as they penetrate beyond the analysis of intellect and reach deep into a quiet zone, closer to the source of creation and yet more intimate than a fleeting smile on the face of a passerby.
‘Spiritual power emanates from the soul… the soul of you and the soul of me… but it is impersonal and impartial. Love is impersonal and because of this it can move a mountain.’
Investing in Loss January 5, 2009
Posted by Geoffrey Wilson in : Meditations , add a commentSerious practitioners of Tai Chi Chuan will often spend years cultivating the principles of the art with a teacher in an effort to eventually demonstrate fluidity and buoyancy. It would seem that few in the West realise though that without the intention to invest in loss, progress will be limited at best to competent performance and sadly the essence of the art will remain elusive.
So, what does it mean to invest in loss?
I asked Tony about this and he gave one of his simple but erudite explanations while simultaneously reflecting back to me the unnecessary and counterproductive strength I was using to defend myself.
‘Yield and follow,’ he said.
‘Relax. Let go!’
I shook my head as he effortlessly pushed me off my centre. He could do it because he had invested in loss for years and understood how to feel an opponent’s every move before it had even been made.
“When strength is abandoned for softness, it is possible to develop your senses,’ he added.
What he meant was that when you drop strength, you also drop your tension – and then you can feel what’s actually going on. Tension is resistance, after all. When you’re tense, the flow of energy circulating within becomes obstructed and sensitivity suffers.
It should also be mentioned that mastery of the body involves mastering the mind. To master the body, the mind must become still and quiet. When the mind is quiet, it is possible to listen. Listening begins when attachment to the ego dissipates and the attention of awareness presides over each and every moment.
Investing in loss therefore is an approach to learning whereby the ego is gradually drained of importance, strength is replaced by softness, and receptivity triumphs over aggression.
Surviving the ‘Silly Season’ December 9, 2008
Posted by Geoffrey Wilson in : Health Tips, Meditations, Wisdom Notes , 1 comment so farAnd so the pendulum swings yet again to mark that time of the year when the festive season is soon to arrive and we prepare for the emotional fallout frequently experienced by those otherwise gainfully employed in pursuit of rest and recreation. There is just cause for the commotion however.
In simple terms, it’s nigh impossible to maintain a sense of balance and harmony when the focus of attention is either on feeding sentiment, pandering to the demands of emotional blackmail, or finding the elusive voice that had previously and mysteriously gone missing.
Lest you get your knickers in a knot though, I’m not saying it’s wrong to celebrate. Nor am I implying that gathering with friends and family over the ‘holy holiday’ is necessarily fraught with negativity. However, the fact remains that we often reserve this time of the year to unleash our carefully measured accumulation of resentment, guilt, and dissatisfaction, on those we deem worthy of the special attention.
Throw in a drink or two or three, and the scene is set if not for a boxing match, then a verbal sling shot competition or something in between that resembles a toxic debate! While there are some that treasure the opportunity to rub shoulders again with long forgotten siblings or relatives and wax lyrical about their many noteworthy accomplishments during the year, others are not so predisposed to exposing their stories even if the perceived benefits of doing so might mean setting the ledger straight.
There are therefore two teams on the field usually – the extroverts who will gladly call a spade a spade – and the introverts who will happily retreat to the silence of the corner. One bludgeons the other until the referee shouts for a timeout!
Once the party hats have been packed away to vegetate for another year in a chest full of mothballs, most have been punished for breaking grandma’s golden rule. ’If you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all!’
The great test for all of us intent on surviving the silly season ultimately is whether or not we can refrain from projecting our prejudices onto those we claim to love.
Try dispensing with the grog.
See if you can do it!
Don’t eat so much.
Go on! Try.
Listen to whomever it is that is speaking to you without saying a word.
Even if what is being said is absolute drivel, wear it.
Maintain silence and smile.
If you can compliment everyone you meet – find one thing that grabs you about them – and tell them why they inspire you – you’ll become the talk of the town.
You may not end up walking arm in arm with Chrissie Hind but you’ll win over more than you lose.
For those looking to cultivate their spirituality, take the opportunity to practice economy of speech. Keep your mood light. Do not buy into one single projection – either your own or someone else’s. Listen to everyone and look them in the eye. See if you can find their heart spirit. It’ll be there. But you do have have to look.